Quesas,quesas,quesas

confused Current mood: confused
It's exactly 6 months past my birthday. At that time, i was down in the dumps-again, waiting to go to a disaster zone, hopeful i would be able to get a job abroad and working flat out.
Now, i'm somewhat happier-i left home, i lost the job in NZ and still working flat out.
In about three months, i'd have completed my 3 years compulsory service. I have had many good offers/opportunities presenting themselves. The problem is what i want and what is good for me are mutually exclusive.

Okay, so i have these options:

1. Quit ER, join up the Segara Clinics branch and have my own clinic in Shah Alam. estimated pay: around 6-7K/month. After 18 months, about 9-11K and i become a partner.

2. Quit ER, go to NZ and get my full NZ reg. Get a job there on contract basis. The pay starts at NZD 77K onwards not including OT and tax relief. That's about RM217K/year.

3. Quit ER,go back to Aceh and find a volunteer job. If it's with the UN may get anything from Sterling1K.

4. Quit ER,join Family practice masters-sent to Oz. Problem is, the head of dept is hard to find. 2nd,still attached to HUKM.

5. Stay in ER and become an ER specialist -my boss sat me down and said he didn't think i should become a GP. He said it would be a waste of my capabilities if i "just" become a GP. He thinks i'd be a good ER specialist. The downside-have to be trained and stay in HUKM and in Malaysia.

6. Quit ER and join KUIM/UITM. Not very keen on being tied down to any Malaysian institution.

7. Take a monster loan and go do my Masters in England. Earn no moolah. Not a practical thing to do.

I'm confused. I hate staying here. If i say fuck it all,who's gonna help pay for my siblings?.

There's another option:
8. i do say fuck it all and apply to work with MSF. Hopefully i'll be dropped in Iraq.
What's a girl gotta do?. I'm single and i feel chained,trapped and defeated by responsibility. which is ironic because i'm the Bad Daughter,the Ungrateful and Arrogant one.