Post-Aceh thoughts

no PTSD yet Current mood: awake
I just woke up 2 hours ago.

I've been back for 3 days. I haven't had time to readjust or reflect yet. Maybe that's why i'm doing pretty okay mentally.Physically, i'm so wrecked. It's my last night shift tonight and i can't wait to actually get in touch with all my friends. Haha,talk about being a wuss,i didn't have enough energy to call anyone.

Funny,it's easy enough to get into the rhythm of working and talking to colleagues.Much easier than relating to a layperson what i saw and did.

Face it,i hate questions like:were there ghosts?.how many dead bodies did you see?. Then,i just clam up. I wasn't there to be a ghoul. I was there to help the living.Is it still devastating?.Yes. I met so many children who've lost one or both parents.

I've met parents who've become childless and lost their livelihood. I've met engineers who've become drivers. Public servants who become drivers cos their offices are in ruins. A teacher who can't sleep at night because she thinks the tsunami will come back at any time. I keep a record in my head and in my heart so i stay human. I stayed dried eyed in Aceh dealing with my patients;carrying out my responsibility. The only time my team cried,even the guys,was when we read the experiences written down by the children in the girl's orphanage of Babun Najah.Will i go to Aceh again?. I certainly hope so.