Pretty In Pink

After a rather horrendous day at work;i needed no more complex thinking and very superficial emotional engagements. Most people say, get in touch with your feelings. No thanks mate, mine are way too much in touch. Be more self-aware.

What does being self-aware mean?. I always thought it meant knowing your limitations, your strengths,weaknesses and when to give yourself a break. Obviously, i am no psychotherapist but i know how to get people to calm down and chill. Received a call today from a lady associated with the Hoffman Institute about pre-course preparation.

I am going for an 8 Day Hoffman Quadrinity Process course. Apparently, according to this very nice lady from Melbourne: "It is a massive psychic clean out" and will force you to face very difficult issues. I am actually scared and nervous but i have nothing left to lose. If it does turn out to be typical Caucasian-namby pamby touchy feely bullshit, hey i can still claim it under my taxes. No loss there.

There's a certain neuroticism i associate with people who do not have to really worry whether someone's going to bash in their door and arrest them based on their religion, persecute them in the name of politics or just when they do not have to worry about basic things like food, shelter, clothing. However, i realize i am being unfair.

I thought it was amusing when i had to describe why i wanted to go on the course. Mainly it was because i am losing the battle to stand up for myself against enmeshed family unit. Having someone describe what i am and have been going through as horrific seems a bit too much for me. However, i've had a relationship breakdown, another guy i hardly know and just met describing me as co-dependent and enabling with my parents and just too focused on serving and helping people that i was neglecting myself. It was even harsher to hear that i do not feel enough nor am kind to myself.

In the spirit of starting over and having lost everything that really was important to me: a future, future children, caring partner why not try this as a last resort?. Hey,if i still can not be "All i can be" or "feel more space" in myself then i know it confirms my basic belief that some people are meant to be happy, some with loved ones and some solitary. It is a bit tough sometimes, a bit relaxing at others, mostly lonely, but no big deal.

Watching Pretty In Pink made me feel more than i wanted to anyway. I was hoping for fun teen 80s style romance comedy. Now viewed through my jaded eyes,it is actually pretty deep for a teen movie. talking abandonment, fitting in, rejection of love, self worth and status anxiety. I feel like Andie.

It is surprising though that Andie's style is actually so fashion forward with her vintage and op-shop gear. In the movie, Iona's outfits too are amazing. I'm dressing more like myself these days, more vintage and classic gear.Less utilitarian gear as i do not have to dress down anymore, i can dress whatever the hell the way i like without some guy saying, your waistline should be lower. Well, honey, i'm a 38-31-42 kinda girl so my waist is my waist and that's not somewhere near the pubic bone. It is nice feeling gorgeous again and in a sense i had let myself go after being with someone who you just could not please. A silent protest when i could have just argued more!.

Although the magazines are touting the 1940s to 60s as the current style guide, realistically our society is way too buy and trash it in mentality. I think we need to stop following fashions too much and like Andie, piece together pre-worn gear, make your embellishments or alterations and have your own style.

Berty and Gerty at the Camden Market locks is a great bargain vintage store. I scored 3 dresses all from early to mid 1970s. One may actually be a late 1960s housewife dress with sweetheart neckline which i will wear to work tomorrow with a fitted belt from another dress i scored at Witchery-classic tiered ruffles that are soft and fitted and accentuate your curves. Although i do cringe a bit at all the excess cleavage girls seem to like showing here, they've got the nipped in the waist look to perfection.

Camden is also good for Allsaints- great store layout, simplistic yet timeless style, excellent material but pity the silhouttes can only work for the uber skinny.

Going back to Pretty In Pink: i hated that it made me cry, i hated that it reminded me in very quick succession 2 blokes have hurt me badly though unintentionally but i loved the dialogue, humour, style and heart of the movie.

Time for bed, not that i will sleep much, just random sad thoughts waking me up at intervals.