letter to bernie apr 18 2006

bernie,
hey,you have time and space in abu dhabi. i guess if you're on your own a bit,it's easier to think more and reflect more on what you go through. I found on my travels that having to be alone in foreign places with no friends left me understanding myself more. i wasn't as bad as i thought i was or people had told me. i ended up believing in my capabilities and my decisions.sometimes,when there;s too many people telling you things and around you,you may end up changing to accomodate their view of you.

when i was 16,i had to decide what i wanted my life to be. at that point,i decided that i would never be rich or famous.I would like to help lots of people.My goal is to work hard enough,teach enough people and when i can afford to (after my responsibilities to my siblings pass to their spouses),i will volunteer more. Sometimes,when things are really bad with parents,this thought keeps me going.

Sometimes,it's really surprising how life can be better. I never thought i would have a chance to go out with someone like mark. In fact,i had given up on going out,marriage,children and all that. So,even though he may leave me,at least i have had a chance to experience being happy for once. Work is good. I have good friends. I have enough to eat and a place to sleep. i think i have enough.

anyhow,all your friends here look forward to seeing you again. There's no need to reply promptly...like i said sometime being on your own is bloody good for the soul.