Extrication-pfft, can do mate.

Well, despite maybe 6-7 hours sustained sleep in 7 days, maybe 3 proper meals, anxiety attacks and generally feeling like crap;i passed my Advanced International Trauma

and Life Support class. Whoop de doo. Now, it's finishing up this block of my Women's Health Diploma, a mental health course on March 12 (now that should come in handy), a STI course March 13 and of course offering all sorts of prayers to God that i'll be finally allowed to write the remaining bits of my Fellowship exams.

Now that my Masters in Public Health and Infectious disease has been deferred to July, i can breath easy as my logbook for Women's Health is already halfway done and i've fulfilled the required 20 pap smears.

Perhaps it is good i'm going home, even for only 2 days. Reminds me why i'm rootless, homeless, alone and nomadic. It is sad when my little sister (okay so she's 31 and is a psychiatrist) has to say " It's okay Dian, you should keep on trying to find somewhere you'll fit in. Maybe Borneo or even Hawaii. I know it was hard here in KL".

Sigh, what if it's nowhere?. In KL: too opinionated, not fair enough, not skinny enough, not Malay enough, too aggressive.

In Perth:" too opinionated, too Brown, has an accent, obviously not white".

In Canada: "just right..but mate why'd you have to work in Malaysia all those years?".

Can't really win can i?

The main problem is i should have stuck to my guns and never bothered with dating and all this companionship crap. You get used to it. And when it's gone, the hole left behind is just so bloody painful and no matter where you are, even on gorgeous Cottlesloe beach, it just sucks when you can't reach over and hold someone's hand or just share how fucking fantastic you feel right there and then.

Or even worse, you try to share a fucking fantastic moment i.e Erykah Badu holding the mike for you to sing and the allegedly best mate you call can't be arsed to even pick up the goddamned phone. Now, that's a very special degree of hurting right there. Should not have bothered really. Never mind, hopefully when i have my death bed experience i won't remember being blown off by a mate, but instead remember how utterly awesome Erykah Badu was, how soothing the sea is, the neon blue of Cotto and the cloudless skies above Perth.