Spunkeymonkey starts all over again

It appeared at one point, last January precisely, that i thought life was finally coming together and go easy on me. There was a bloke i thought would actually be good to stay with the rest of my life, there was my dream of going back to Canada coming to fruition. I had passed my specialist exams (MRCGP) and had passed the first part of my fellowship exams here in Australia.

One year on, engagement is over, failed to match to a residency program in Canada despite working as a General practitioner the past 3 years and my specialist pathway was up-ended overnight by the RACGP here in Australia, blocking my way to do my last 2 exams. My family faced financial difficulties as well so you could say it was an annus horribilis of huge portions. Having lost everything what is there to do but start all over again?. Pick up the pieces and travel and just enjoy my own company. Try very very very hard not to feel like someone just took a sledgehammer to your sense of self and whacked it vigorously.

What do you do when the one person you thought understood you thinks you deceived them?. Explain and try not to reel from the thought that after all these years, they really did not know you at all.

I am deeply grateful and thankful for my friends though. Having them to talk to, talk through things and have a good cry has helped immensely.

So, i thought why not start all over again on internet dating?. I'll be studying again for my Fellowship and keep trying to get a chance to write them. I will also still try to get a residency spot and if all else fails just go over to Canada and work as a "physician's assistant" and see how much of the torture i can put up with. Or, just not bother anymore, admit defeat and keep raking in the cash here in Australia. Hmm, perhaps internet dating will be a good distraction, plus you don't have to waste money going out. Plus, the optimist in me thinks, maybe i'll meet a great guy.

Not knowing what to do, fortuitously my answer came during a break in regular programming. Something called eharmony.com. Allegedly, they'll only match guys who fit your criteria or whose personality fits your own. In order to find this "match", a series of questions covering 27-29 categories were posed. I was tickled pink to find out i am soft-hearted, emotionally responsive, curious about the world, focused and a know-it-all. Not very flattering but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Apparently, matches are hard to come by. Receiving 8 matches, 2 caught my eye. What do i look for?.Someone who sounds semi-intelligent, not a pervert, interesting and easy on the eyes. Although i am no supermodel, i clean up really well and i find i do need "chemistry" before i bother going out with anyone. A rocket scientist was offered (for real!) and an artist type person.

After 4 days, i've had about 5 guys try to "communicate" with me. Sadly, only the artist dude i quite like. However, after several rather painful emails -painful as i write nice juicy long ones and get a 3 sentence reply,i realize a good profile does not a match make (okay, that confused me too). Too bad, i rather thought artist dude and me had lots of things in common: a love of the arts, Natalie Portman, we are family-oriented, not much into the looks bit, both concentrate on financial security and our careers. Plus, we both have Indonesia as a common factor.

Well ladies, i can only say this: if a guy can only write 3 sentences in an email, either he does not dig you or he's too busy. The 3rd option, he has limited verbal skills is scary.Let's not go there.

Wish me luck, next dating website check is www.bust.com/personals.