You know, when you read all these British based novels, seaside towns die each off-season. The latest book i read that mentioned this was Nick Hornby's Juliet Naked.
Esperance is different though. It's winter but it still feels alive. I reckon that's because it's not completely based on tourism. There's mining and farming. So far, the big thing in town has been a play called Captive Wives.There was the Sunday Market a few days ago, Soapbox Racing and of course, Coffee Cat.
It's been a bit more relaxed compared to Mt Barker. Sadly, i do think i've to give up doing hospital based work. I hate the constant barrage of calls from the ward, i hate having to run between the surgery and the wards and just feeling so worn out. Thankfully, the staff at the surgery have been super nice and for fasting month my schedule has been lightened somewhat.
Sleep is an on/off issue. I think if i do not make it an issue, i'll be right. Funnily enough, i sleep better after longish chats/video chats with a mate based in the Far east. I think we've been in touch on and off for maybe 5-6 years?. It is funny because we never actually emailed very often; if at all. However, it's been a life-saver for me literally as my mate's fun and non-serious banter really does help the blues. Too bad that now he's having same probs, i am not much help. Perhaps i need to take classes in how to be light-hearted and less a serious misery guts?. I reckon i can be positive, it's just that melancholia has been my default user mode since i was a little girl. Not much to be happy about then but i've loads to be thankful about now.
Esperance is a good place to lick your wounds and heal. It's quiet with a beautiful bay and endless lovely beaches. The daily gust that kick in at about 3p.m or so; is refreshing.
I don't think i've done as well as before. It's sad as it may be my last time here. But what can i do, i've lost my "muchness" to paraphrase the Mad Hatter. I'm getting it back in dribs and drabs but did i not used to be peppier, more aggro, more out there, crazier and louder?. I think i used to better. I hardly recognize myself .
I'm efficient but i feel my head's not right.
How did i get here, and what have i done?.
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