I was bleary eyed going in to work at 7a.m today.Had stayed up till 230 reading de Lint's new newford collection.
I was team leader again. Lives saved:countless. You see so many people everyday. i work everyday. If i have a day off,i go out,meet people i like, but then i'll always pick up a part-time job anyway.
today,i got off work at 2p.m. Went to the beautician and then the hairdressers. Pleasantly falling asleep while i have a treatment done when i get a call. It's Rashid.
R:Dian,can you cover me at the clinic?.
D:Today?
R:yep.It's at 6 p.m (he calls me at 545).
D:Sure dude.
It's automatic. I can say no but i'm like ooooh work.
Sad,i know.
Technorati
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Goals, reflections and Fuck Love
I guess before i define my plans for this year,i should first reflect on what i've achieved. I have 5 year plans. Usually there's 3-4 goals i hope to achieve by the end of those 5 years. My last 5 year plan ended when i was 24. So,i've only 2 years or less for this cycle.
When i graduated, my plan for the next 5 years was this:
by 2007 i had had to have:
1. be a specialist before i was 30
2. volunteer for MSf
3. travel a lot
4. help out my siblings financially
5.get a job outside of malaysia.
Let's see what happened in 2005...It's easier to break down into months:
January: absolutely bleeding positive at this time.I was quite happily in like with this really awesome guy Kevin. I was waiting for my APC and letter of good standing so i could start work in NZ. At the end of the month, i learn the medicl council lost my file,the hospital i used to work at had no idea where my data was and i had to give up my dream job.
February: still happy relationship wise. Overjoyed that i was chosen to volunteer in Aceh during the tsunami aftermath. Realized that i could do this job excellently.
March: As soon as i returned,felt a bit put out said lovely man can't be bothered to call or get in touch.Hello,was in earthquake and tsunami area.2 big ones when i was there. Mum's hospitalized 5 days after i return to Malaysia. When's she well,i say fuck to it all and go visit Dan B in Melbourne.
April: dan is a gentleman. I think Melbourne's fantastic. Parents are very very displeased because i just went and had a holiday....
may: I'm not very clingy but said lovely man is not very good at keeping in touch at all. Unfortunately parental units go nuclear over god knows what and i just take off and disappear for 2 weeks.
June:granma has another Upper GI bleed.I move in with her so that she doesn't kill herself because of her extreme anxiety. She needs to be medicated,but the meds will do more harm than good.
July: I'm not one to give up so easily on a relationship. After all it takes a lot hard work. So,i go on because i realize i do love this guy. Even though it's not reciprocal. I get the 1st of 3 offers to do a master's in Emergency med. get my certificate in Aquatic Rescue. I climb Mount kinabalu.
August: I win 3rd place presenting a free paper for my boss. It's against people from all over the Asia pacific region so i'm dead pleased. My Case report abstract is published in the society's minutes. Relationship wise,things are much better and i'm happier.
September: Start a pain study in the dept. Resisted recruitment attempts by Segara headhunters. I still am looking for a job abroad.Go for a GP intensive Course and HIV medicine course.
October: fasting month. Said boy doesn't take it well at all when i say i think i need to learn to be apart from him. I mean,i actually lovethis guy who doesn't love me. He stops calling,no emails, actually signs in as invisible from me and he totally cancels on a trip to visit. I am heartbroken but after the last jerk i went out with,this is not so bad.
November: i get a lucky break work wise. I'm the only civilian selected for an international diving medicine course.At the end of the course,i'm the best student. It rocks. My phone's out of order for 2 weeks but it's not like i'll be getting a call. Sad fact is,i wait for it everyday.
December: I messaged him to ask what's up. I think we decided to be friends as he just had several flings while incommunicado. Of course,funnily enough,one crush scared hin so bad that he had to get his buddy to pretend they were dating...just so that poor girl wouldn't think they could get together. However,he blows me off when we next chat and just doesn't respond to IMs. So,that's that i guess. Good news: i'm offered a position with this Hyperbaric Health company. it's a very interesting job. Also,offered a permanent part time position by Segara. Things are looking good. My sister gets married and we all go to Indonesia for new year's.
Jan: Decide to sit for my MRCGP in April. I decide to go for it and then do my Diploma in Hyperbaric Medicine. I'll always be able to get a position with the Army or with a private company. Segara wants me to work with them as soon as my APC is done. I decide to start dating again. Work is going really well. Relationship wise:sucks eggs. i still do wish to get a call from him. Not likely as he's discovered the joys of getting drunk and having inane conversations with lots of young women. Sigh.
when i look at my list,i've pretty much covered everything. Only thing left is to find a good job overseas. I need that space and distance away from the toxic people who keep putting me down despite my best efforts. i'll miss my granma and i'm worried about her health. Still, that's what her children should be doing.
When i graduated, my plan for the next 5 years was this:
by 2007 i had had to have:
1. be a specialist before i was 30
2. volunteer for MSf
3. travel a lot
4. help out my siblings financially
5.get a job outside of malaysia.
Let's see what happened in 2005...It's easier to break down into months:
January: absolutely bleeding positive at this time.I was quite happily in like with this really awesome guy Kevin. I was waiting for my APC and letter of good standing so i could start work in NZ. At the end of the month, i learn the medicl council lost my file,the hospital i used to work at had no idea where my data was and i had to give up my dream job.
February: still happy relationship wise. Overjoyed that i was chosen to volunteer in Aceh during the tsunami aftermath. Realized that i could do this job excellently.
March: As soon as i returned,felt a bit put out said lovely man can't be bothered to call or get in touch.Hello,was in earthquake and tsunami area.2 big ones when i was there. Mum's hospitalized 5 days after i return to Malaysia. When's she well,i say fuck to it all and go visit Dan B in Melbourne.
April: dan is a gentleman. I think Melbourne's fantastic. Parents are very very displeased because i just went and had a holiday....
may: I'm not very clingy but said lovely man is not very good at keeping in touch at all. Unfortunately parental units go nuclear over god knows what and i just take off and disappear for 2 weeks.
June:granma has another Upper GI bleed.I move in with her so that she doesn't kill herself because of her extreme anxiety. She needs to be medicated,but the meds will do more harm than good.
July: I'm not one to give up so easily on a relationship. After all it takes a lot hard work. So,i go on because i realize i do love this guy. Even though it's not reciprocal. I get the 1st of 3 offers to do a master's in Emergency med. get my certificate in Aquatic Rescue. I climb Mount kinabalu.
August: I win 3rd place presenting a free paper for my boss. It's against people from all over the Asia pacific region so i'm dead pleased. My Case report abstract is published in the society's minutes. Relationship wise,things are much better and i'm happier.
September: Start a pain study in the dept. Resisted recruitment attempts by Segara headhunters. I still am looking for a job abroad.Go for a GP intensive Course and HIV medicine course.
October: fasting month. Said boy doesn't take it well at all when i say i think i need to learn to be apart from him. I mean,i actually lovethis guy who doesn't love me. He stops calling,no emails, actually signs in as invisible from me and he totally cancels on a trip to visit. I am heartbroken but after the last jerk i went out with,this is not so bad.
November: i get a lucky break work wise. I'm the only civilian selected for an international diving medicine course.At the end of the course,i'm the best student. It rocks. My phone's out of order for 2 weeks but it's not like i'll be getting a call. Sad fact is,i wait for it everyday.
December: I messaged him to ask what's up. I think we decided to be friends as he just had several flings while incommunicado. Of course,funnily enough,one crush scared hin so bad that he had to get his buddy to pretend they were dating...just so that poor girl wouldn't think they could get together. However,he blows me off when we next chat and just doesn't respond to IMs. So,that's that i guess. Good news: i'm offered a position with this Hyperbaric Health company. it's a very interesting job. Also,offered a permanent part time position by Segara. Things are looking good. My sister gets married and we all go to Indonesia for new year's.
Jan: Decide to sit for my MRCGP in April. I decide to go for it and then do my Diploma in Hyperbaric Medicine. I'll always be able to get a position with the Army or with a private company. Segara wants me to work with them as soon as my APC is done. I decide to start dating again. Work is going really well. Relationship wise:sucks eggs. i still do wish to get a call from him. Not likely as he's discovered the joys of getting drunk and having inane conversations with lots of young women. Sigh.
when i look at my list,i've pretty much covered everything. Only thing left is to find a good job overseas. I need that space and distance away from the toxic people who keep putting me down despite my best efforts. i'll miss my granma and i'm worried about her health. Still, that's what her children should be doing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)