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Monday, February 28, 2011

Yarusenai and Setsunai

So yeah, i just finished this really in-depth book Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein. I've always admired journalists. My grand-dad was many things, an Intel Officer with the Indonesian army at one point vs the Dutch, a Malaysian nationalist at the grassroots level..who despised what UMNO became, a journalist, the first Malay newspaper editor of an English language daily and of course the most awesome Grand-dad ever.

Reading Tokyo Vice though, lead me down routes i really did not want to take into being an "information whore". Into the Tokyo underbelly of Yakuza, Japanese attitudes towards women and sex. It certainly killed the romance of a journalists' life!

However, a beautiful part was when Adelstein tried to explain his feelings with regards to a very tragic event involving a mentor and colleague.

He described what i felt and often feel  perfectly. English, is a very limited language, at times. I'm glad i can fall back on Malay. And now, i do wish i could speak Japanese.

To quote Adelstein:
"Setsunai, is better described as a feeling of sadness and loneliness so powerful that it feels as if your chest is constricted, as if you can't breathe; a sadness that is physical and tangible".

That is perfect. Exactly what i have been feeling for the past 15 months.

He goes on:

" Yarusenai: a grief or loneliness so strong that you can't get rid of it, you can't clear it away". And he is absolutely right- every time i remember certain events, i feel that yarusenai.

The best thing of course, is to not feel ever again.

Mr Adelstein then includes this children's song by Takehisa Yumeji called Evening Primrose. Although he notes much is lost in translation, i quite like his:

You live and wait and wait..and wait
But the other may never come
Like waiting on the evening primrose


This feeling of sadness without end
This evening, it does not seem
That even the moon will come out.

Extrication-pfft, can do mate.

Well, despite maybe 6-7 hours sustained sleep in 7 days, maybe 3 proper meals, anxiety attacks and generally feeling like crap;i passed my Advanced International Trauma
and Life Support class. Whoop de doo. Now, it's finishing up this block of my Women's Health Diploma, a mental health course on March 12 (now that should come in handy), a STI course March 13 and of course offering all sorts of prayers to God that i'll be finally allowed to write the remaining bits of my Fellowship exams.

Now that my Masters in Public Health and Infectious disease has been deferred to July, i can breath easy as my logbook for Women's Health is already halfway done and i've fulfilled the required 20 pap smears.

Perhaps it is good i'm going home, even for only 2 days. Reminds me why i'm rootless, homeless, alone and nomadic. It is sad when my little sister (okay so she's 31 and is a psychiatrist) has to say " It's okay Dian, you should keep on trying to find somewhere you'll fit in. Maybe Borneo or even Hawaii. I know it was hard here in KL".
Sigh, what if it's nowhere?. In KL: too opinionated, not fair enough, not skinny enough, not Malay enough, too aggressive.
In Perth:" too opinionated, too Brown, has an accent, obviously not white".
In Canada: "just right..but mate why'd you have to work in Malaysia all those years?".
Can't really win can i?

The main problem is i should have stuck to my guns and never bothered with dating and all this companionship crap. You get used to it. And when it's gone, the hole left behind is just so bloody painful and no matter where you are, even on gorgeous Cottlesloe beach, it just sucks when you can't reach over and hold someone's hand or just share how fucking fantastic you feel right there and then.

Or even worse, you try to share a fucking fantastic moment i.e Erykah Badu holding the mike for you to sing and the allegedly best mate you call can't be arsed to even pick up the goddamned phone. Now, that's a very special degree of hurting right there. Should not have bothered really. Never mind, hopefully when i have my death bed experience i won't remember being blown off by a mate, but instead remember how utterly awesome Erykah Badu was, how soothing the sea is, the neon blue of Cotto and the cloudless skies above Perth.




Robyn 'Dancehall Queen'

Robyn 'Be Mine!'

Robyn 'Dancing On My Own' (Official Video)

Oh Land - Sun Of A Gun

Savage Skulls & Douster feat Robyn - Bad Gal

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011

Rammstein - Stripped (official video)

Smashing Pumpkins - Never Let Me Down Again (HD)

Depeche Mode kinda mood

I've always been a Depeche Mode/Cure/NIN/Nirvana/Portishead kind of girl. But, that changed a bit over Christmas and i started feeling happy again-after a long time of not remembering how it felt like to be happy. I had my best mate visiting, we had fun and life was good. Even started to listen to happier stuff, like Soft Pack.

So we went on a trip. I thought it was fun and i had a good time. However, i reckon i must have stuffed up somewhere. From hearing from my mate regularly, the past week of calls not answered, texts not answered and no emails. This is weird cos usually we talk everyday. When i do finally get some kind of email, it's just to say it was fun for my mate to be with his clients and colleagues and go out and pretend to be other people...and that's why it was total communications shutdown?. At least there should be a girl involved?.

I guess, even at this age, i can surmise that i'm only good as "best mate" when there are no other buddies around. Sigh, i'm getting too old for this. I had boyfriends do this to me but it just hurts so much, so unbelievably freaking much out of proportion to what it should compared to that. I guess, i placed too much trust and value to a friendship that i thought was a 2 way street. It's kind of weird being someone's allegedly best mate but "hey, if i'm with work colleagues just don't bother me".

Of course, a simple text: i.e "girl, i am seriously chasing skirt with my mate, getting drunk and partying after work that i have no time to talk" would have been ideal!.

Or even better :" mate, you were bloody annoying the whole trip..for e.g (insert annoying act)..and it could be sorted!

Or perhaps the trip did not go as well as i felt it did. I had fun, i loved it, i miss my buddy because we can talk nerdy fun shit or just be silly or just try anything that may be interesting.

Now, i'm just extremely sad. More than a little bit stressed out with exams, work, Masters and a diploma course. Functioning on no sleep (ruminating too much about what i did wrong or not), no food (been really sick past few days) and just sheer stubbornness. Of course, the upside to that is i may win a bet as i weighed in today at 63.8kg, way down from 66kg last week in Japan. When i am broken-hearted, i just can't eat. I can work, i can be absolutely brilliant at what i do, i can help other people but i cannot sleep, eat or relax.

My new year's resolution was to stay happy, toughen up and no crying. I think i have broken all 3 easily this past week.

Well, i guess the only thing to do is tackle more important stuff. Man, i really truly deeply believed it when my mate said "i'll always have time for you mate".  Words just words eh?.

Sigh, well i am really grateful to my mate anyway for being a rock through some hard times. And being kind and honest (i thought) to me. So, no one's perfect. But nothing will be the same because i don't think i have ever had such deep trust in anyone my whole life.

At times like these, just have to go to Bunnings, get some planks, build a bridge and get over it.


Deftones - To Have And To Hold (live)

Monday, December 06, 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

So High

higher than a skylark
resting in the sky 
on a mountain pass --Matsuo Basho


Ah, that pretty much sums up what i felt Friday night . I cannot remember the last time i felt so happy and alive. Perhaps at last i have regained my "muchness" and more!.


Of course, what a cliche: girl meets boy, gets socks blasted off faster than a rocket. Granted, it may be one-sided, but i am not complaining. 


Sadly, it may not proceed anywhere because of geographic logistics issues. They really don't make them like that in Australia. I may have to move to the U.K, where i may not even secure my target!. However, i give everything a good try and this bloke is amazing. 


I have no plans to date anyone else after this, because how can you top it?.


*addendum: Sadly, good buddy J has pointed out to me there is no chance a man will go to the other side of the world to see a girl. After spending last night crying (the truth does hurt) , i was surprised to get an email. I hope J and i will be proven wrong. It was nice to be happy again, i would love to be happy at least once more**

Friday, September 03, 2010

Monday, August 30, 2010

Spunkeymonkey in Esperance winter season

You know, when you read all these British based novels, seaside towns die each off-season. The latest book i read that mentioned this was Nick Hornby's Juliet Naked.

Esperance is different though. It's winter but it still feels alive. I reckon that's because it's not completely based on tourism. There's mining and farming. So far, the big thing in town has been a play called Captive Wives.There was the Sunday Market a few days ago, Soapbox Racing and of course, Coffee Cat.

It's been a bit more relaxed compared to Mt Barker. Sadly, i do think i've to give up doing hospital based work. I hate the constant barrage of calls from the ward, i hate having to run between the surgery and the wards and just feeling so worn out. Thankfully, the staff at the surgery have been super nice and for fasting month my schedule has been lightened somewhat.

Sleep is an on/off issue. I think if i do not make it an issue, i'll be right. Funnily enough, i sleep better after longish chats/video chats with a mate based in the Far east. I think we've been in touch on and off for maybe 5-6 years?. It is funny because we never actually emailed very often; if at all. However, it's been a life-saver for me literally as my mate's fun and non-serious banter really does help the blues. Too bad that now he's having same probs, i am not much help. Perhaps i need to take classes in how to be light-hearted and less a serious misery guts?. I reckon i can be positive, it's just that melancholia has been my default user mode since i was a little girl. Not much to be happy about then but i've loads to be thankful about now.

Esperance is a good place to lick your wounds and heal. It's quiet with a beautiful bay and endless lovely beaches. The daily gust that kick in at about 3p.m or so; is refreshing.

I don't think i've done as well as before. It's sad as it may be my last time here. But what can i do, i've lost my "muchness" to paraphrase the Mad Hatter. I'm getting it back in dribs and drabs but did i not used to be peppier, more aggro, more out there, crazier and louder?. I think i used to better. I hardly recognize myself .
I'm efficient but i feel my head's not right.

How did i get here, and what have i done?.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Haiku Poems of Matsu Basho

The Haiku Poems of Matsu Basho

I love Basho. There's elegance in the sparse verse .

Kochira muke
Ware mo sabishiki
Aki no kure
Will you turn toward me?
I am lonely too,
This autumn evening.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Whale watching in Albany

 
 
 
 
Posted by Picasa

Monday, July 26, 2010

David Nichtern: 'Slow Enlightenment' in a Quick Fix Culture

David Nichtern: 'Slow Enlightenment' in a Quick Fix Culture

Art, Until Harvest Time - Slide Show - NYTimes.com

Art, Until Harvest Time - Slide Show - NYTimes.com

Cases - A Doctor Discovers a Patient in the Mirror - NYTimes.com

Cases - A Doctor Discovers a Patient in the Mirror - NYTimes.com

In Disclosing Secret Documents, WikiLeaks Seeks ‘Transparency’ - NYTimes.com

In Disclosing Secret Documents, WikiLeaks Seeks ‘Transparency’ - NYTimes.com

The War Logs - Interactive Feature - NYTimes.com

The War Logs - Interactive Feature - NYTimes.com

Afghanistan war logs: the unvarnished picture | Editorial | Comment is free | The Guardian

Afghanistan war logs: the unvarnished picture | Editorial | Comment is free | The Guardian

Inside the Fog of War - Reports From the Ground in Afghanistan - NYTimes.com

Inside the Fog of War - Reports From the Ground in Afghanistan - NYTimes.com

Afghanistan war logs: our selection of significant incidents | World news | guardian.co.uk

Afghanistan war logs: our selection of significant incidents | World news | guardian.co.uk

Afghanistan war logs: Massive leak of secret files exposes truth of occupation | World news | The Guardian

Afghanistan war logs: Massive leak of secret files exposes truth of occupation | World news | The Guardian

Spunkeymonkey in Melbourne

Due to mistiming-spent 5 hours sadly trying to find a place to sleep. In the end, an exercise in futility. Aussie airports are singularly uncomfortable transit hubs. How i miss the sleep areas in Changi, the small rented cubicles with a shower and bed in Narita and the sheer breadth of food choices in Kuala Lumpur. Instead, you get a hard cold seat, very few power outlets and expensive wi-fi.

The Hilton across the road was full-up. Bleary-eyed and quite lethargic from blood loss,i stumbled back and started reading the Guardian. Huge mistake. Wikileaks had just released via the Guardian, NYT and Der Spiegel the Afghanistan War Logs. The next few hours were spent reading in horrfied silence the atrocities covered up by the coalition forces. Some i spent silently crying, just overwhelmed by what i read.

I've reposted links to incident reports on my Facebook:i hope Aussies reading this will back off their xenophobic war against refugees trying to come to their country.Banning/limiting refugees based on their race and religion is racism.

Afghanistan War Logs Leak

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Alain de Botton: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success | Video on TED.com

Alain de Botton: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success | Video on TED.com

Spunkeymonkey learns why a non-techie should never mess with .itl files

After 2 frustrating days, numerous attempts and basically trying every single suggestion made available to me, i have to admit defeat. My playlists and extensively compiled mix-tapes are in some techno limbo/heaven and i have no clue how to recover any of them.

It is rather amusing and ironic that if i analyze the cause, it was mainly because i wanted to publish the playlists as an iMix. However, whenever i wanted to publish, it kept coming up as insufficient memory. So, i deleted everything, changed from my D: drive to I:external HDD drive that has 1TB worth of memory with >500GB of free space. That should be enough right?. Nope,same prob. So i repeat the process with incoming uploads also into the EHDD so that there will be more than enough operating memory in my laptop (freeing up 72GB of space in the D:drive itself). Still no success.

Luckily, artist dude (who has emailed a few times most helpfully) emailed a few links that led me to mac users forums. Sadly, after trying a few of the different suggestions and losing my playlists,i have to admit defeat.

Also, it has taught me that i really do have to spend a few hours sorting and organizing my music!. There's too much overlap and some albums have been broken up even though when i check their properties all the labels are correct. I guess i really do have to start dating someone with computer skills. I have massive skills, but IT savviness is not it!

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Spunkeymonkey adores the School of Life

Alain de Botton - On Pessimism from The School of Life on Vimeo.

Spunkeymonkey does Broome in winter

It's my 3rd time out to Broome in the past 18 months or so. I've been pretty lucky in experiencing the Wet and Dry seasons here. Broome time is a different beast altogether and i do not think i can get used to that!.

An example: clients never arrive on-time. If their appointment is at 1400, they'll get there exactly 1405 or later. Of course, if they have to wait..then all hell breaks loose. Realistically, if everyone came in 5-10 minutes late, one session taking 15 minutes or more, then by the 4th person you can easily face wait periods of more than 30 minutes. So, do people bother showing up early?. Do they call beforehand if late?. Nope. I hate Broome-time. I am given to understand it is because it is relaxed and laidback and dreamy here but No. It is rudeness.

Broome in winter though,ah it is so nice (for me). The last few days have been cool in the mornings, enough for a light sweater and then heating up nicely to 30 degrees celcius and then at night cold enough that snuggling under a duvet is heavenly.

Today has been wonderful. I had stayed up late after a "house-warming" party at this new residence. All the key players showed up and it was fun and loud and lots of laughter. After all the rest left to watch Paul Kelly, i cleaned up, had a nap in preparation for footy. Dazed and delirious, saw that Germany won, tried to watch the Tour de France (at this point it was 0130h) and then conked out. Received text from Festival Virgin who was at Hop Farm fest in the UK, at that point it was 3 in the morning and i was still awake because i was bloody hungry but too lazy to get up.Finally got up and received rather cryptic message "Good advice about the wet wipes". Let us not ponder deeply about situations at music festivals requiring wet wipes. I put a mental block each time after a festival.

Knowing that i had sea-kayaking planned later at 250p.m, rather groggily and looking like a rock band groupie after a Hard Night with the band, i started walking on Cable Beach. It was ideal. Strong winds to drown out me singing-along to Goldfrapp's Supernature, cold enough to prevent my muscles overheating and full of life at 7a.m. By the time i finished Supernature and got on to Basement Jaxx it was nearly 9a.m and i had bloody well nearly walked all the way to Gantheaume Point!. A bit too much fun there yowling like a kitty cat but i climbed back into bed after doing all the exercises and stretches the physio taught me for my back.

Ah, my back. I have a torn QL, likely small tears in its attachments to T12-L1, a "divot" in my erectus spinae along T9-T12 and of course some minor disc compression L5-S1. For all that, i thank god for mental strength and general stubborness because i believe that's why i've still managed to get back to work full-on and recovering adequately just 2 weeks after the incident. I am still extremely pissed at DR CJ from DoctorCall at 121, Harley Street who basically said "It's just soft tissue and i won't examine further because you are just too sore". Right, thanks mate. I can't get registered as a GP in your country but i think that's just bloody crap. I have to say this is why i still trust Traditional Chinese Medicine doctors and other allied health like Chiropractors and Physios because they do listen to you and they do trust you. I'm a GP myself and i would never let someone leave after falling down a flight of stairs without checking them out. Or at least give the number and address of some allied health professionals so that early therapy can be started. Big breath out....

Sadly, kayaking has been cancelled as it's a bit choppy out there in the bay with all this gusty winds. I think another walk is called for but i'll make it reasonable, maybe 40 minutes instead of 2 hours plus.

It is wonderful up here at this time of year.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Pretty In Pink

After a rather horrendous day at work;i needed no more complex thinking and very superficial emotional engagements. Most people say, get in touch with your feelings. No thanks mate, mine are way too much in touch. Be more self-aware.

What does being self-aware mean?. I always thought it meant knowing your limitations, your strengths,weaknesses and when to give yourself a break. Obviously, i am no psychotherapist but i know how to get people to calm down and chill. Received a call today from a lady associated with the Hoffman Institute about pre-course preparation.

I am going for an 8 Day Hoffman Quadrinity Process course. Apparently, according to this very nice lady from Melbourne: "It is a massive psychic clean out" and will force you to face very difficult issues. I am actually scared and nervous but i have nothing left to lose. If it does turn out to be typical Caucasian-namby pamby touchy feely bullshit, hey i can still claim it under my taxes. No loss there.

There's a certain neuroticism i associate with people who do not have to really worry whether someone's going to bash in their door and arrest them based on their religion, persecute them in the name of politics or just when they do not have to worry about basic things like food, shelter, clothing. However, i realize i am being unfair.

I thought it was amusing when i had to describe why i wanted to go on the course. Mainly it was because i am losing the battle to stand up for myself against enmeshed family unit. Having someone describe what i am and have been going through as horrific seems a bit too much for me. However, i've had a relationship breakdown, another guy i hardly know and just met describing me as co-dependent and enabling with my parents and just too focused on serving and helping people that i was neglecting myself. It was even harsher to hear that i do not feel enough nor am kind to myself.

In the spirit of starting over and having lost everything that really was important to me: a future, future children, caring partner why not try this as a last resort?. Hey,if i still can not be "All i can be" or "feel more space" in myself then i know it confirms my basic belief that some people are meant to be happy, some with loved ones and some solitary. It is a bit tough sometimes, a bit relaxing at others, mostly lonely, but no big deal.

Watching Pretty In Pink made me feel more than i wanted to anyway. I was hoping for fun teen 80s style romance comedy. Now viewed through my jaded eyes,it is actually pretty deep for a teen movie. talking abandonment, fitting in, rejection of love, self worth and status anxiety. I feel like Andie.

It is surprising though that Andie's style is actually so fashion forward with her vintage and op-shop gear. In the movie, Iona's outfits too are amazing. I'm dressing more like myself these days, more vintage and classic gear.Less utilitarian gear as i do not have to dress down anymore, i can dress whatever the hell the way i like without some guy saying, your waistline should be lower. Well, honey, i'm a 38-31-42 kinda girl so my waist is my waist and that's not somewhere near the pubic bone. It is nice feeling gorgeous again and in a sense i had let myself go after being with someone who you just could not please. A silent protest when i could have just argued more!.

Although the magazines are touting the 1940s to 60s as the current style guide, realistically our society is way too buy and trash it in mentality. I think we need to stop following fashions too much and like Andie, piece together pre-worn gear, make your embellishments or alterations and have your own style.

Berty and Gerty at the Camden Market locks is a great bargain vintage store. I scored 3 dresses all from early to mid 1970s. One may actually be a late 1960s housewife dress with sweetheart neckline which i will wear to work tomorrow with a fitted belt from another dress i scored at Witchery-classic tiered ruffles that are soft and fitted and accentuate your curves. Although i do cringe a bit at all the excess cleavage girls seem to like showing here, they've got the nipped in the waist look to perfection.

Camden is also good for Allsaints- great store layout, simplistic yet timeless style, excellent material but pity the silhouttes can only work for the uber skinny.

Going back to Pretty In Pink: i hated that it made me cry, i hated that it reminded me in very quick succession 2 blokes have hurt me badly though unintentionally but i loved the dialogue, humour, style and heart of the movie.

Time for bed, not that i will sleep much, just random sad thoughts waking me up at intervals.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

World Cup fever

I am watching what is probably the 3rd replay of the Brazil vs Chile match.Watched it last night through an industrious haze of updating my Guardian Soul mates profile. What can i say?. I liked both teams as they are brown people like me, but Brazil were stellar. I am SO hoping they beat the Netherlands mainly because 25% of Dutch people voted for Gert Wilders. Now, i need another whole post to describe what a buddy of mine, who is a 3rd generation immigrant in the Netherlands goes through every day.It's atrocious and gave me the chills.

Sadly, all this World Cup viewing means i am not sleeping much which is a blessing and a curse. I cannot sleep that well anyway after falling down some stairs on 17/6/2010. It kinda hurts when you move around yeah?. Like a knife in the back. However, not enough sleep means delayed healing..what a vicious cycle. Anyhow, there is no way in hell i am going to get up at 430am to watch Portugal play. I abhor Ronaldo and hope they crash out.

It is sad being somewhere where there's hardly any World Cup fever. In Europe, at the airport they set up huge screens in the lounges for us to watch the World Cup. At train stations, public squares, cafes and pubs it'd be packed with people standing to watch the footy. There is of course the agony of your team losing but hey, it's a great we are all in this together now spirit yeah?.

Come on Brazil!.Send the Netherlands packing please.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Spunkeymonkey & online dating

Hmm,it has definitely changed a lot on online dating (see previous post). Most sound like booty calls. After not much success with bustpersonals.com (what can i say, all the guys i thought were hot 5 years ago are probably married now), i went on to yahoo.com. Hey, that's where i met my last guy. Selection=disastrous.

Admittedly, i am super picky now. No more losers who teach high-school and earn 70K a year yet insist on living like 1st generation refugees with no stable income. That bites. I did all that throughout university and that is not what i want. I'm not rich but i like the simple pleasures of life-actually having an en-suite bathroom when travelling, maybe a fan and maybe gosh-darn it, eat somewhere nice and try a new restaurant. Also, after 6 years of you CANNOT go and attend gigs, clubs, concerts and festivals ;i am going all out now.

So far this year has been stellar: Cat Power, Southbound with Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Grizzly Bear and Metallica, On the Bright Side, Angus and Julia Stone and Sarah Blasko coming up. Travelling to Ireland to catch Gorillaz and yes, i am willing to lose my job over that as i fucking do not care anymore. It's been bloody tiring being a good girl, good daughter, good girlfriend who puts up with excessive frugality, skid marks in the toilet and inability to flush said toilet and stinky feet. Enough.

So, i try Guardian Soulmates as one dude taunts me (i do not take well to taunts) saying there's no way that i am what i am if i can't afford to subscribe. So, i subscribe but this dude gets weirder. I block him, inform Guardian Soulmates and that's easy.

Then, there's this very fascinating, absolutely lovely guy who can actually string together 9-10 word sentences in wonderful long emails. He emails regularly, we met up in the UK a few times. Alas, the lustre of the pearl has diminished so now, i am lucky to get an email a week. No chemistry on his part, on my part i thought he was super awesome in the personality department.

A spaniard living in the UK mysteriously says, i am interested in history and Renaissance art. So i emailed back and said, look mate,i'm actually going to the exhibition.If you want to come email me and you can join me. He chickens out and doesn't. I have a bloody good time with art of Fra Angelico, Raphael, Leonardo and Titian at the British Museum where i am now a member. God, if i ever ever win a house with the RSL, i am selling it and living in England. The British Museum, the British Library, Tate Britain & Tate Modern-it was just too awesome.

I think i am going to reactivate my Guardian soulmates account. I was pretty miserable after falling (literally) down some stairs and injuring my back. I'm back at work, have decided i want to live in Perth the next 2 years unless of course i majorly luck out and get my Fellowship earlier. Upon which i will apply for a medical post on the Isle of Wight and fucking rock the festival every year and buy that house in Southern France or Turkey.

Right, Slovakia-despite your loss i salute you because you guys kick-ass. I am heading your way in exactly 6 months.

My madness has no budget

I should have planned and budgeted for a 1/3rd life crisis. Why was i stupid enough NOT to have a back-up plan (i.e second boyfriend) stashed away somewhere in case your fiance dumps your ass?. This is what i get for saving up every cent for a home deposit and saving my courage to ask permission from my folks?. WTF?

So,i am slowly going mental because there's no one to talk to anymore at the end of the day. I have 4 times today, contemplated emailing a man i have only known recently since May. Everytime, it was something mundane about my first visit to a horse-race, specifically the Broome Turf Club racing. For a non-drinker and non-gambler it was still a lot of fun. Also, i wanted to tell him about Space Invader (http://www.space-invaders.com/) who is a grafitti/street artist in Paris i adore. He is heading off to Paris to do shopping in July and there's so many things i want to tell him about Paris.

I also wanted to talk about this massive mix-tape, now multi CD track listing of my favourite songs (not all of them) but,since there's been no response to my email since Friday,of course i cannot write at all. Usually i do not give a shit or write, but with this guy being all "i am so independent" and "i think you should read up on co-dependency", i am a bit freaked out. Me,co-dependent?. Right now, i am beginning to think he is right or i just so damn bloody lonely without any of my friends in the same town, let alone country or geographic distribution.

At the same time, i am also thinking what the fuck?. I make people music compilations, share my favourite music and make this dude a mix tape as he is way too musically deprived. But, no one has ever made me a bloody mix-tape ever?. I am SO worthy of a mix-tape. Now, you non Nick Hornby fans may not understand this at all, but just pretend.

The problem is, this dude i met in the UK, was the best kind to talk and talk and talk to because he actually knows shit. His eyes do not glaze over if i start talking about literature,art, science, music, comic books, nature and just trash talk.

Gah, i need to start dating younger men but the problem is they do not earn as much as i do and i no longer want to support 3 generations of a family. I want someone who'll make me laugh-a lot. Someone who can laugh at me when i get silly, or when i get uber passionate about some obscure art movement or artists. Who may not understand why i am devoted to Mucha, Miro, Seurat but love me anyway for being crazy.

I also realize no one really reads any of these blogs except well meaning friends yeah?.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Spunkeymonkey starts all over again

It appeared at one point, last January precisely, that i thought life was finally coming together and go easy on me. There was a bloke i thought would actually be good to stay with the rest of my life, there was my dream of going back to Canada coming to fruition. I had passed my specialist exams (MRCGP) and had passed the first part of my fellowship exams here in Australia.

One year on, engagement is over, failed to match to a residency program in Canada despite working as a General practitioner the past 3 years and my specialist pathway was up-ended overnight by the RACGP here in Australia, blocking my way to do my last 2 exams. My family faced financial difficulties as well so you could say it was an annus horribilis of huge portions. Having lost everything what is there to do but start all over again?. Pick up the pieces and travel and just enjoy my own company. Try very very very hard not to feel like someone just took a sledgehammer to your sense of self and whacked it vigorously.

What do you do when the one person you thought understood you thinks you deceived them?. Explain and try not to reel from the thought that after all these years, they really did not know you at all.

I am deeply grateful and thankful for my friends though. Having them to talk to, talk through things and have a good cry has helped immensely.

So, i thought why not start all over again on internet dating?. I'll be studying again for my Fellowship and keep trying to get a chance to write them. I will also still try to get a residency spot and if all else fails just go over to Canada and work as a "physician's assistant" and see how much of the torture i can put up with. Or, just not bother anymore, admit defeat and keep raking in the cash here in Australia. Hmm, perhaps internet dating will be a good distraction, plus you don't have to waste money going out. Plus, the optimist in me thinks, maybe i'll meet a great guy.

Not knowing what to do, fortuitously my answer came during a break in regular programming. Something called eharmony.com. Allegedly, they'll only match guys who fit your criteria or whose personality fits your own. In order to find this "match", a series of questions covering 27-29 categories were posed. I was tickled pink to find out i am soft-hearted, emotionally responsive, curious about the world, focused and a know-it-all. Not very flattering but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Apparently, matches are hard to come by. Receiving 8 matches, 2 caught my eye. What do i look for?.Someone who sounds semi-intelligent, not a pervert, interesting and easy on the eyes. Although i am no supermodel, i clean up really well and i find i do need "chemistry" before i bother going out with anyone. A rocket scientist was offered (for real!) and an artist type person.

After 4 days, i've had about 5 guys try to "communicate" with me. Sadly, only the artist dude i quite like. However, after several rather painful emails -painful as i write nice juicy long ones and get a 3 sentence reply,i realize a good profile does not a match make (okay, that confused me too). Too bad, i rather thought artist dude and me had lots of things in common: a love of the arts, Natalie Portman, we are family-oriented, not much into the looks bit, both concentrate on financial security and our careers. Plus, we both have Indonesia as a common factor.

Well ladies, i can only say this: if a guy can only write 3 sentences in an email, either he does not dig you or he's too busy. The 3rd option, he has limited verbal skills is scary.Let's not go there.

Wish me luck, next dating website check is www.bust.com/personals.

Spunkeymonkey does Cape Leveque

 
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Short 1 day trip to Dampier Peninsula courtesy of Kimberley Wild adventures based in Broome. We had an early start to the day, with the massive 4WD truck/bus picking up passengers at 650a.m. I was picked up from Cable Beach Club Resort which was about 10 minute walk from my current accommodation.

There were 17 of us, a good mix of newlyweds, older couples and a very fun bunch of Spanish emigres who are from Melbourne. I especially enjoyed listening to Estella, a very cheerful and sprightly Nanna from Spain, telling me about their family, how they live in Spain and her grandchildren. What can i say, a lot of oldies remind me of my own Gran who i wish we travel a lot more!.

The ride started off smoothly but once we got onto the turn-off to the Dampier Peninsula is what like riding a wild thing. The recent late heavy rains had caused deep corrugations in the road,and had covered bitumen with the bright red Kimberley soil. No sleeping on this trip!. The rough and wild ride lasted nearly an hour. It was with great relief we stumbled off the bus to visit Beagle Bay indigenous community. The main attraction here is the Sacred Heart Church which is has an altar made of Mother of Pearl and decorated with shells. A compact church, it serves the Aboriginal community of Beagle Bay. A quick morning tea courtesy of our guides with Anzac biscuits and Fruit cake. An unexpected attraction was a visit by a curious lad and his wonderfully adorable dog.

After a refreshing tea break, it was back on the bus to One Arm Point community. Both Beagle Bay and One Arm Point are self administered Indigenous communities and they are alcohol free. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beagle_Bay_Community,_Western_Australia)

One Arm Point is located on King Sound, which is a large bay that extends all the way to Derby about 200km away. Looking out North, you can see Thursday Island and the rapid and powerful tides that will give rise to the Horizontal Waterfalls. If the wave energy or current energy was ever harnessed, there would be enough energy to power the whole of Australia (according to our guide!).

At One Arm Point, we visited an amazing hatchery: breeding anemones, soft coral, barramundi, clown fish and greenback turtles. Some of these marine creatures were found in trouble and then rehabilitated here. I loved it as i fed one of the turtles and got to scratch their shells!. Apparently, turtles love having their shells scratched. All you had to do was be a bit careful where you position your fingers. If it is too much in their faces, watch out!.

Feeding barramundi was a highlight as well. These fish are agile and powerful. As soon as they grow to a 100cm long, it's barbecue time. There was also a Lion Fish:spectacular and deadly. Being able to gently stroke anemones and soft coral that are grown there was another highlight. A special species, Magnificent Anemones is home to clown fish and quite essential for their survival. Smaller clown fish hide amongst the tendrils and are kept safe from bigger clown fish that would have simply ate them!. Clown fish are very advanced. They are all born male and then if water temperatures rise to more than 25 degrees celcius they become female. In another circumstance, if a female clown fish is eaten, the male will change and become a female.

Barramundi are interesting too. As soon as they grow to 4-5kg, they switch over and become female. I would not mess with barramundi though. Just eat 'em.

Another highlight at the hatchery was lovely shells polished to a sheen for sale. Some of these shells were made into lovely bangles. As i did not know we could have purchased, i was short of money!. So sad, but i do recommend them as you cannot buy them anywhere else and the bangles are gorgeous.

After spending close to an hour at the hatchery, we stopped by the shore to get a closer look at the rapid tides going across King Sound. In the hazy blue horizon, a faint outline of Sunday Island can be seen.

15 minutes away was out next stop, Kooljaman resort, the only one in the area. Kooljaman is administered by the Indigenous community there. It is strongly advised to make bookings early on. Space is very limited at Kooljaman. However, it's location close to One Arm Point is well-worth the trip. It is MUCH cheaper to take a flight to view the Horizontal Falls from Kooljaman than from Broome ($290 vs $575 or $690 depending which company you go with). A very short and cheery lunch was had in one of the thatched shelters close to the beach. At this point it was midday and broiling.

Quite a few brave souls headed out to the beach for a dip. Sadly, they reported to me it felt more like a hot bath than a refreshing dip. Another quick tea and coffee and we were off to visit Lombadina.

Lombadina is another Aboriginal community of the Dampier peninsula. The main attraction there would be the Bush Church which is a wooden structure. It is quite rickety now but charming in its way. Lombadina was our last stop and our way back, Jeff our guide pointed out Cygnet Bay-a pearl farm. Cygnet Bay used to be closed to the public but now people can come and visit and there are tours from Broome that stop here as part of the Horizontal Falls trip.

The ride back was certainly wild and bone-shaking for about 2 hours. I swear, at times i flew up out of my seat, restrained only by the seatbelt. Sticky, tired but rather happy, i was dropped of at Cable Beach Club resort. Definitely recommend traveling with this company as you are well-fed on their trips.

1.www.kimberleywild.com.au
2.Horizontal Falls:
http://www.horizontalfalls.com.au/
www.kimberleyextreme.com.au/
www.bushflight.com.au/horizontal-falls-tour.php

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Esperance,West Australia

 
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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Taronga Zoo

 
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Monday, December 01, 2008

November 2008

 
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Saturday, November 15, 2008

 
 
 
 
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Thursday, May 22, 2008

New Music i like

Portishead have a self-ingeniously titled album out: Third.
Okay, that's not nice but i do like them a lot:)

They've been on another fav show Later with Jools Holland and Beth Gibbons sounds as fragile and lovely as ever. She sings Rip.




Let's talk about Rostam Manglij. why?
he's a got a funny name
he's really pale
he's from a band that sounds brown yet he's obviously not...wait that's a gimmick right?


Yes, he's a Farang, but hey,don't let the lack of a tan stop ya.
http://www.myspace.com/rostambatmanglij

he's from this band: Vampire Weekend;



The Cure has released a new single out but it's not yet available on iTunes. i adore them.



Death Cab For Cutie have a song title that's perfect for Morissey fans...




Pssssstttttt Check out Animated Videos for RADIOHEAD..here on fav music site:

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/page/forkcast/50649-radiohead-iin-rainbowsi-animated-music-videos-contest

Plus, odd couple Cee-Lo and Paul Oakenfold ...can't believe i missed it before:

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Snatch theft & Random crimes

I was at the Titiwangsa LRT when i bumped into one of the outpatient clinic nurses. She said hi, and looked a bit shaky. Then, she told me quite calmly, with great disbelief in her voice "I've just had my things snatched".

D: how?. where did it happen?
S: "Just now. I had..some envelopes with charity tickets for Dr S, i wanted to deliver them..and then some man on a motorcycle snatched out of my hand."
D: That's horrible, you mean just right here?.
S: "Yes, i was close to Bandaraya and the Bandaraya people quickly got into their cars and chased the motorcyclist..they couldn't catch him, he was too fast...
It happened so fast..he forced my hand away from my body and just ripped it out of my hand.."

The nurse shows me her left hand, the thumb looks a bit swollen but there are no cuts.

She goes on :" I was really lucky!..i was so afraid i would fall"..

D: I agree, thank goodness you weren't hurt badly.
S: Well, he didn't get anything much..just the tickets..but i'm on my way to make the police report...i'll be much careful now..i'll walk further away from the kerb now.

At this point i had reached my destination PWTC station and had to say goodbye.

2. Personally, i know one other person who's been mugged. My sister was a snatch theft victim. She was walking home, along Jalan Setiawangsa. A Malay boy on a motorbike (just like in the nurses case), came from behind and grabbed her purse.

Now, if you know me and my sister Hani, you know we are BIG girls. We are wider and taller and have more muscles than most Malay men or even Chinese men. In fact, it's sort of like if you compare French girls with the former East German girls...

So Hani, yanks it right back, gets dragged a few meters and manages to make the guy fall off his bike.

The thief lets go off the handbag, and while Hani is trying to get up , he gets on his bike and runs away.

My sister's stomach looks like a road map after that, all the skin torn off.

3. I met a friend, Ain; at an ECG Seminar. One of those random things. We got to talking, and we started talking about how sorry we feel for Foreign Workers.
As doctors, we see how badly they are mistreated by MALAYSIAN EMPLOYERS. The inhumane and cruel manner, the long working hours, no breaks and low wages keep our country's economy moving but causes health problems for these workers.

Ain related how a friend of her's was mugged on Asian Heritage Row at Jalan Doraisamy. He was err, answering the call of nature beside his car. (It was one of those nights and you know men have small bladders).

Suddenly, this Malay boy on a motorbike pulls up beside him, kicks him in the leg and then coolly steals his handphone and wallet.

Ain's friend lies there dazed. He gets up and asks for help. He goes to the nearest police station (Dang Wangi) to lodge a report but they say it's not under their jurisdiction.

The policeman asks: "Indon ke yg buat?".
Ain's friend says "No, Malay lah".

Then, he goes to another police station. He sits down and makes the report. The police officer reads it and says " Indon ke?" (was it an Indonesian guy?".

Snatch theft victim: "No, it was a Malay guy who did it, on the bike"
Police officer:" Betul?. Indon ke?" (Are you sure it wasn't an Indonesian?"
Snatch theft victim, now quite fed up:" Bukan, dia MELAYU, Macam Encik jugak" (NO, He's MALAY, JUST LIKE YOU".

Now, if you've read through this; rightly or wrongly you can identify a few recurring themes:

Snatch thiefs do it fast and on motorbikes.
They target people alone and on foot.
they are mostly of a certain ethnic race and NOT usually foreigners like the media like to claim.. Heck, even my own gran keeps saying rising crime is because of foreigners.

However, i'd like people to question and REALLY think?. Ask your friends who've been mugged, was it a local or was it foreigner? Even if it was either, how come we aren't safe walking our own streets anymore?.

What i think is...Should i get a TASER and set it to Fry-Thief-Fry?.

Champions of Europe again!

Rather unsportingly and childishly, i'd just like to say: We did the Double!. In your face Chelsea!

Ahhhhh. I feel much better now. Especially after waking up bloody early and the having chest pains and palpitations watching the lads miss goalscoring opportunities and Ronaldo flubbing the penalty. It was well worth it to see John Terry falling on his ass. Never have i despised someone that much...wait i have. Many times over. I lied.

Anyhow for better football writing, check out John Doyle's :
Well before the end it was clear that whoever won this match would be worthy champions. When sporting competitions are conceived, the ideal is that a team will be crowned after deservedly conquering valiant and talented rivals in a tense, exhilarating drama that showcases both contenders' qualities, as well, perhaps, as some controversial vices (thanks for that, Didier). Frequently the final falls short, but tonight the teams truly delivered.

Reaching the final seemed to have liberated Sir Alex Ferguson as he removed the shackles he'd fitted to his players against Roma and Barcelona in previous rounds. His bold formation and attacking intent showed that he trusted his team's invention and precision to nullify Chelsea's power. And his judgement was quickly justified as the nimbleness and crispness of Paul Scholes and Michael Carrick was in perfect contrast to Chelsea's nervy stodginess. When Cristiano Ronaldo embellished Paul Scholes and Wes Brown's fine work on the left by steering a splendid header into the net, United's lead was richly deserved.

Chelsea's equaliser was fluky but, it revived them and in the second half they showed they had as much finesse as United - and it seemed their greater force would be decisive. By obligation rather than volition, United gradually reverted to the counter-attacking disposition of previous rounds. The main reason Chelsea didn't convert their pressure into goals in normal time was because United's defence, particularly Brown, remained as resolute as ever, though Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic did lapse in the 78th minute when they allowed Didier Drogba to casually turn and curl a fine shot against the post.

read more:
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/05/21/the_teams_delivered_a_match_wo.html

However, for fairness sake, i've also included a few that lambasted my team's win..I can afford to since we are Champions!

Richard Williams The Guardian
May 22, 2008 12:30 AM

They did their best but it was still only a Premier League game with extra-time and trimmings. A battle between two adversaries who know each other's strengths and weaknesses inside out, the European Cup final of 2008 was a match totally devoid of the sort of exotic contrasts and unpredictable internal contests that once marked this most glamorous of club contests.

Until the scuffle that saw Didier Drogba sent off five minutes from the end of extra- time, it was not a particularly bad match. Chelsea and Manchester United seemed to have got the worst out of their systems when they reduced last year's final of the FA Cup to a wasteland. But last night was a further demonstration of economic power distorting the essential nature of a tournament that once pitted Di Stefano's Real Madrid against Kopa's Reims and Rivera's Milan against Cruyff's Ajax.

read more: http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/05/22/all_too_english_and_not_enough.html

Manchester United are once more engulfed in the delirious joy of Champions League melodrama. They were on the verge of defeat in the shoot-out as the Chelsea captain John Terry came up to take the penalty that would have brought the Champions League trophy to Stamford Bridge. His standing foot slipped as he struck the ball and the effort flew wide. A failure by Cristiano Ronaldo had been cancelled out.

The momentum was irreversibly United's and, in the end, Edwin van der Sar ensured that the trophy would come to Old Trafford for the third time by saving the spot kick from the substitute Niciolas Anelka. This is a club that cannot come by glory in this tournament until it has scared itself senseless. The Luzhniki Stadium witnessed a spectacle to compare with the comeback in 1999 when Bayern Munich were overtaken at the close of the final.

The memorability of such a moment depends, as well, on the images of the losers' unforgettable pain. Terry had been magnificent and, 11 minutes into extra-time, had somehow twisted his neck to head away a shot by the substitute Ryan Giggs that was bound for the net. It seemed inconceivable then that such a character could be brought low.

He is no culprit. The single person meriting blame is Didier Droga, sent off four minutes from the close of extra-time for aiming a slap at the United centre-half Nemanja Vidic following a melee after Chelsea had expected the ball to be returned to them at a throw-in. That folly by the Ivorian did not mar one of the most engrossing Champions League finals of modern times.

There is always a craving to consecrate winners as deserving of their prize. It is tempting to do that because, in the first-half particularly, they scored, wasted openings and were thwarted by the goalkeeper Petr Cech. That was an outstanding spell, but Chelsea's self-belief was also imposing. At times they appeared ready to overpower Sir Alex Ferguson's team.

The Scot declared this to be the first major shoot-out to have gone his way. Ignoring the fact that the bauble of the Community Shield came United's way in just such a fashion, against Chelsea, at the start of this season. Ferguson's memory has a great deal to contain and he has now conquered in all four of his European finals since the days with Aberdeen.

It might all have been different in Moscow and Drogba had struck the post during extra-time. Nothing, it appears, goes in favour of the Chelsea manager Avram Grant for long. The Israeli could well have imagined that his luck was turning when his team came through an initial bombardment. Now there will be more uncertainty and disquiet.

Terry's failure from the spot brought a gesture of wry exasperation from Roman Abramovich. The owner will ask himself if he is employing an unlucky manager or one who falls a little short of what is needed. Either way, the Russian, deliberating in Moscow last night, cannot ignore the fact that Chelsea have failed to take trophy for the first time in four seasons. Nor would he have liked the way in which United initially took his side by surprise.

To Chelsea's regret it turned out that it is possible for one of these teams to surprise the other. United did more still, disconcerting the opposition with tactics that helped Ronaldo score against these adversaries for the first time in his career. United had been sent out in a 4-4-2 formation that some might have supposed had been stashed in the Old Trafford museum. The purpose of it was to exploit the narrowness of Chelsea's 4-3-3 system and bedevil the full-backs. Michael Essien was the principal target. Accustomed as the Ghanaian midfielder is to operating on the right of the defence on occasions such as this, he has no experience of the suffering to which Ronaldo subjected him.The winger had left him utterly stranded in one incident and then embarrassed him more severely with the opener in the 27th minute. Paul Scholes exchanged passes with Wes Brown on the right and the latter stroked an unexpectedly good inswinging cross with his left foot. Ronaldo skipped in front of a static Essien to glide a perfect header low into the net.

It was a bruising encounter, with Scholes, for instance, requiring attention to a bloodied nose after a crash between himself and Claude Makelele that led to a yellow card for each of them. All the same, United were not diverted from performing with freedom. Owen Hargreaves brought his running power to bear from right midfield, the position in which got his earlier Champions League winners' medal with Bayern Munich in 2001.

Ten minutes before half-time, United should have been in a virtually unassailable position, but Petr Cech parried Carlos Tevez's header and then reached Michael Carrick's shot from that rebound. There was a further opportunity nine minutes later when Ronaldo could not quite get to the low ball by Wayne Rooney that had eluded Makelele. Nonetheless, United by then had been given a clue as to Chelsea's powers of recovery. When Drogba headed a deep cross into the centre after 34 minutes Rio Ferdinand, under pressure from Michael Ballack, knocked it towards his own net, only for Van der Sar to tip the ball onto the bar.

Chelsea had their fortune when pulling level. Essien's 25-yarder cannoned of Nemanja Vidic and then Ferdinand to set up Lampard for a coolly taken goal. Though Chelsea had been rallying, their feelings much have contained a measure of relief. It invigorated the team thereafter. Each side took the other to its limits.

Guardian sports news

Technorati Profile

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

FRom Farish Noor's other Malaysia

Thailand’s Costly Little Insurgency War
Written by Farish A. Noor
Tuesday, 20 May 2008


As we sit by the roadside café sipping thick, milky tea, the ustaz (religious teacher) nods in my direction and looks away. His eyes turn to the armoured Humvee that rolls past us ever so slowly, the open roof mounting a large and rather nasty-looking machine gun. The soldier who mans the turrets looks to be no older than 18, his head dwarfed by the large helmet and his framed rendered diminutive by the bullet-proof vest he wears. The soldiers are all clad in body armour and their eyes are hidden behind black ray-bans that reflect the searing light of day back at us. The armoured car passes by at a menacing pace, like a predator about to pounce. The men in the café stare back, returning malicious glances. In a minute it is over and the soldiers have passed. Smiles re-appear and we continue with the business of sipping tea and talking politics.

“You see what its like here in Patani?”, the Ustaz asks me. “Its like living in Baghdad. This place is like Iraq now. The Thai soldiers are everywhere, they stop us all the time, we cannot even drink tea in peace without having a gun pointed at our faces. And the government says this is for our own good, for our ‘protection’. Protection from what? From whom? We are Patanis, this is our land, our people. We don’t need to be protected from each other. So is this what they call good governance?”

One week in Patani and the other Southern Thai provinces of Jala and Narathiwat was all that was needed to convince me that this is indeed an insurgency war with a high human cost. Since 2004 the four southern Thai provinces have been up in arms and the relationship between the Thai government and the Malay-Muslims of the south has deteriorated to such an extent that road blocks, mass arrests, curfews and violence have become routine. During the course of my short stay there I encountered 34 road blocks and we were stopped four times. During the daylight hours the landscape of Patani is dotted by sandbags, outposts, guard towers, surveillance cameras and the sight of armoured cars and trucks darting back and forth across the region.

In the evenings however it is another picture altogether. Since Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra declared martial law in the region more and more troops have been send down to reinforce the Thai Fourth Army that is stationed there to police and defend the deep south. Yet despite the efforts that have been made – ranging from direct counter-insurgency assaults to mass arrests, from soft efforts to woo the Malays to funding of local development projects – nothing substantial has been achieved.

What is worse is the rise in the number of attacks on civilians by the underground army of insurgents who may number anything from the hundreds to the thousands. Over the past four years those targeted have included religious teachers – both Muslim and Buddhists, schools and school teachers, post offices, public markets, shops and malls, and of course police stations and army camps. Til today no single group has come out with a set of specific demands. The Thai National Reconciliation Council has attempted to assuage the anger and frustration of the Malay Muslims by recommending that the central government in Bangkok accept and recognize that the southern provinces of Patani, Jala, Narathiwat and Satun were and remain Malay-Muslim provinces that were once independent Malay kingdoms before they were incorporated by Thailand, and that the identity and culture of the Malays should be respected at least, but to no avail.

Instead, the powers-that-be in Bangkok have maintained that Thailand is a single unitary state with one definitive dominant culture, that of the Thai-Buddhists, and that all communities have to abide by the standards that have been set. Since the time of General Phibun Songkram in the 1940s, the assimilationist policies of the Thais has been imposed on all the communities, though it is here in the deep south that resentment is the deepest and strongest.

The net result has been the deepening of resentment and feelings of marginalization and discrimination among the Malays who feel that their religion and culture are not respected. One of the consequences has been the rise in the number of vernacular Malay religious schools (pondoks) that have popped up everywhere in the south, and as one travels from one district to another one is struck by the number of pondoks and madrasas that one sees by the roads.

The other result has been the reluctant acceptance of the Thai mainstream educational system, which forces all citizens to speak and learn the Thai language – though the Malays insist that their language (Yawi) is not something they are willing to forget. Amidst the tension and anger of the locals, native insurgents have come to the fore to give voice to the anger of the community. On our third night in the region a national primary school was set to the torch and burned down, just three kilometers from where we were. The army and police responded immediately, but at the last minute even the fire engines and rescue teams would not brave the countryside roads in the dead of night for fear of landmines and snipers: as they approached the scene their sirens were turned off and they turned back.

This then is the impasse that prevails in the south of Thailand at the moment: During the daylight hours the presence of the army and police is everywhere, but once dusk arrives and the light is dimmed, the roadblocks in the country roads are emptied and unmanned. During the dark hours of the night the countryside returns to the hands of the insurgents who continue their low-level insurgency with minimum manpower and resources, but at great cost to the state’s coffers. All the high-tech weapons technology that Thailand has bought from its Western allies could not prevent a bunch of local insurgents from burning down a primary school smack in the middle of the village in full view of the locals.

And perhaps the most difficult thing of all would be to get the two communities, the Thais and the Malay minority, to finally understand and accept each other’s rights to exist. In the words of another religious school teacher: “We don’t hate the Thai people, we never have. They have their ways, their culture, their God, their religion. But why do they have to come here and bring their culture to us when we have never imposed our culture on them? Patani was a Malay kingdom even before Ratanakosin (Bangkok) existed. We were a kingdom when Ayuthaya was around. But why don’t they accept this? Why cant they leave us in peace and accept that we are different?” Like many autonomy movements, the insurgency in Southern Thailand is fuelled by a combination of nostalgia for the past, anger over the present and the deep-rooted desire for recognition and respect. But how do you show respect to a villager when you stare at his face through the scope of a machine gun on top of an armoured car? And that, in a nutshell, is the problem.
Last Updated ( Tuesday, 20 May 2008 )

Malaysian Artistes for Unity

hey, being the eternal optimist that i am,it's hard for me to be cynical about this project:

Public health talks coming up

Public Health Talks 19/5/2008-25/5/2008

Topic: Management of Menopause
Date: Saturday 24/5/2008
time:2-4 p.m
location: Tung Shin Hospital
Admission is free.
contact: 03 2072 1655

Topic: Diabetes Management & Diet
Date: 25/5/2008
time: 3-5p.m
location: SJMC, North Tower conference room
contact: register at 03-5639 1556 between 10a.m to 5p.m


Topic: Management of Menopause
Date: Saturday 24/5/2008
time:2-4 p.m
location: Tung Shin Hospital
Admission is free.
contact: 03 2072 1655

Topic: Diabetes Management & Diet
Date: 25/5/2008
time: 3-5p.m
location: SJMC, North Tower conference room
contact: register at 03-5639 1556 between 10a.m to 5p.m


Wellness Medical Qigong
organized by KL-Petaling Jaya Alzheimer Caregivers Support Group
Date: Wednesday 24 May 2008
place: Alzheimer's Day Care centre at 9, Lorong Bukit Raja, Taman Seputeh
location: SJMC, North Tower conference room
contact: register at 03-5639 1556 between 10a.m to 5p.m



Heart Chocolate Indulgence at the Kuala Lumpur Heart Centre.
location: 1B-G-2, Ground Floor, Plaza Sentral, Jalan Stesen Sentral, KL Sentral
Date: Wednesday 21/5/2008
Time: 12p.m onwards
get your passes at www.heart.com.my

http://www.heart.com.my/images/heart_choc.gif
http://www.heart.com.my/heart_choc.asp




www.faces.com.my
www.advertlets.com

Monday, May 19, 2008

Myanmar Disaster Relief Efforts

Hey all, this is a little bit outside of my kampung, but let's lend a hand:
(courtesy of Michael Fredericks AMBP editor's note)
1) Donate: Cheques must be made payable to Mercy Malaysia. Write Myanmar Relief Fund on the back of the cheques as well as your name and address so that receipts can be issued.

Because of the urgency of the matter, the collection exercise will only run for two weeks - so you have until May 21. You could come personally to our office at Menara Star (address below) to drop off your cheques at the collection box situated at the lobby.

Or you could send your cheques to:

Myanmar Relief Fund
Star Publications (M) Bhd
Menara Star
15, Jalan 16/11
Petaling Jaya 46350
Selangor.

For inquiries, call: 03-79671388 ext 1121.

Alternatively, you can forward your donations to the Foreign Ministry as it has activated the Tabung Bencana Kementerian Luar Negeri. Send your cheques to:

Mohammed Zamberi Othman
Ketua Akauntan
Kementerian Luar Negeri
No.1 Jalan Wisma Putra
62602 Putrajaya

A good website to check on updates of regarding the disaster:
1. http://www.foundationburma.org/
2.http://www.mercy.org.my/main/index.php
MAYBANK
Account's name: MERCY Humanitarian Fund
Account no. : 5621 - 7950 - 4126

ABA Swift Code: MBB EMY KLA
Address: MAYBANK BERHAD, 20G-28G, Jalan Wawasan 4/5, Bandar Baru Ampang, 68000 Ampang, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia.

3. http://www.asiaobserver.com/burma/
4. http://www.burmanet.org/news/
5.http://www.burmanet.org/news/

Also, since the Myanmarese government refuses to allow other non-Asean aid workers in, i hope any Myanmarese doctors out there can get in touch with MERCY Malaysia.

Asia Electronic Music

A few favourite bands:

Aside from Goodnight electric, also check out Saer Ze:



AMP:http://amp.channelv.com/amp/artistVideo.html

http://www.saerze.com/

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Handsome Boy Modelling School: World's Gone Mad

Too bad no videos were made for the HBMS albums

Handsome Boy Modelling School

Great project: subversive, inventive, and cheeky cheeky from Dan the Automator:)

Dan The Automator

Goodnight Electric

First heard Goodnight Electric on the Janji Joni soundtrack.
These lads are very cute, slightly cheeky and a lot of fun. Had the best time dancing to their set
and hope to see them in K.L again soon!





Check them out!

Meet Uncle Husseins upcoming gigs

I absolutely adore this band:)





Check out their upcoming gig:
meetUncleHussain

25 May 2008, 08:00 PM
MCPA la..tempat gig anda!, Kuala Lumpur !,
Cost : 25

29 May 2008, 08:00 PM
Selangor, Bandar Utama,
Cost :

the innocent bystander: where you stay matters

the innocent bystander: where you stay matters

Tokmak's 80th Birthday party/Mother's day celebration

 
EVeryone tired out...before the party has started!
 

Tokmak after Aina and i insisted she dressed up.
 

Aisya Iman is only 45 days old and a camera ham.
 
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Thursday, May 15, 2008

PayLess Warehouse Sale

http://www.paylessbooks.com.my/images/1UMay08.jpg

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

 
 
 
 
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Monday, May 12, 2008

Early birds looking rather sober....This was way before Sai arrived.
The old-law-school study group, 20 years on.
Pose "maut".
We got serious business over here.
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